Why December Turns Grown Adults into Overstimulated Toddlers (and what YOU can do about it)
Let’s call it what it is. Yes, the truth bomb!
Christmas doesn’t create behavioural challenges, it amplifies what’s already there.
Pressure. Expectations. Unspoken rules. Family dynamics. Cultural norms. End-of-year fatigue. Then add in alcohol, deadlines and a credit card and suddenly rational humans behave… well let’s just say irrationally.
From a behavioural perspective, December is the perfect storm.
What actually happens to behaviour at Christmas?
- Cognitive load is maxed out
People are mentally exhausted. Decision fatigue is real. When the brain is tired, emotional regulation drops. Cue short tempers, withdrawal or the one I USED to suffer from – people-pleasing. - Values clash AND loudly
For some, Christmas equals tradition. For others, rest. For others, generosity. When core values differ and aren’t acknowledged, silent judgement creeps in:
“You’re not making enough effort” or “You’re doing too much” or “That’s not how we do it”
- Lets look through the high level DISC Lens as behaviours go into overdrive
High D (Red): Takes control. Gets impatient. “Just tell me what time we’re eating.”
High I (Yellow): Overcommits socially. Says yes to everything. Crashes hard.
High S (Green): Keeps the peace. Suppresses needs. Resents quietly.
High C (Blue): Chases perfection. Feels stressed when plans change.
None of these are wrong… they’re predictable. Always remember personalities are not about right and wrong, it’s about recognising, understanding and respecting we are ALL different, have different wants and needs.
How to manage behaviours (without losing your crown)
Step 1: Name what’s driving you
Ask yourself:
Am I acting from expectation or choice?
Is this about connection… or control?
Awareness diffuses emotional charge.
Step 2: Lower the perfection bar, deliberately
Perfection is not a personality strength. It’s often fear dressed up as standards.
Christmas doesn’t require:
The perfect table
The perfect present
Everyone being happy ALL of the time
It requires presence, not perfection.
Step 3: Create behavioural boundaries
Boundaries are not selfish. They’re necessary regulation tools.
Examples:
“We’re leaving by 7pm.”
“We’re not doing three houses in one day.”
“I’m opting out of gift-giving stress this year.”
Clarity reduces conflict.
Step 4: Regulate before you react
PAUSE before responding, ask yourself how you are feeling and what position are you making this decision from?
Tired?
Hungry?
Overstimulated?
Triggered by history?
Your nervous system sets the tone — not the Christmas turkey.
A reminder you need to hear
Perfection does not equal Christmas.
Presents do not equal Christmas.
Productivity does not equal Christmas.
Being present does.
Presence looks like:
Listening without fixing
Laughing at what goes wrong
Letting “good enough” be enough
Choosing rest over obligation
And most importantly…
Be kind to yourself
You are allowed to:
Do less
Say no
Change traditions
Protect your energy
Self-kindness is not indulgence, it’s emotional intelligence in action.
When you manage your behaviour with compassion, you give others permission to do the same.
And that’s a Christmas worth showing up for.
Much love for a peaceful festive time
Queen Vic 👑
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