Ripple Effect

The journey starts well, you have let another driver out of a junction, perhaps let someone cross the road in front of you. Then as you approached a roundabout, whilst you had indicated, another driver decided to do a cheeky cut-in. Their actions annoyed you and you used your horn, they then in turn (rather than put their hands up and say sorry – which could have the impact of diffusing the situation) made this situation more antagonistic by making hand gestures at you – in turn, making you more annoyed…

Does this sound familiar? What impact does it have on YOU and YOUR behaviour, not to mention your stress levels? 

How can we change this behaviour, because if this happened to you, I can probably guess that, after this incident, you didn’t let out another driver at the next junction, or wave and let the person waiting, cross the road. You may well have found yourself driving slightly more annoyed, it’s impacted your mood. Why? Because someone else’s behaviour has now impacted your behaviour and in turn, this may impact other people’s behaviours. It’s known as the ripple effect.

How do we pause the ripple to ensure that when it leaves us, it has a positive impact?

I’m not saying there is a magic wand to stop road rage or stop bad behaviour because often these are instant reactions that our subconscious mind has made before our concise mind has time to change it. We need to look at the triggers in our lives that impact our behaviours.  

Simple things like, have you ever walked into a room, and seen someone and this just made you think “Oh damn” maybe your phone has rung and we generally all have caller ID, and as their name came up your thought “Oh damn”. How about the other way, have you ever walked into a room and seen someone that made think “Oh amazing” or when you see their name on the phone, you get a rush of happiness?

What is the difference between these two people to you – what is the trigger that can go from “Oh damn” to “Oh amazing”

We are never going to have a world where everyone loves everyone – I can dream of it – however, I am a realist and know that it is an unlikely world, in my lifetime.

 I want you to think of two people, one takes you from feeling “Oh damn” to “Oh amazing”. Now I want you to think of how your behaviour changes as you walk into the room, what does it do to your body language? Imagine it right now, the “oh damn” does it make your shoulders drop, perhaps an eye roll, what has happened to your energy level? Even as I type this, I am putting myself in that scenario and my typing and enthusiasm for this blog have reduced. There are people in my world, that I would describe as mood hoovers (to me, not to everyone) and I know that their energy will drain mine, so how do I overcome this? I walk to a different part of the room where they are and don’t engage with them. I’m not saying as rude as to AVOID them, I will acknowledge and be polite, but I know I can’t engage in a long conversation because it will drain my battery.

How about the person that makes you go “Oh amazing” Think of that person now, what does that do to your body language, as I type this, I can already feel my shoulders have gone back, and my chest and breathing are much brighter, I have a smile on my face, endorphins have been realised, I want to go over and hug them (okay I know hugging isn’t for everyone) my behaviour is radiating, and as I make my way through the room, this positive vibe is having a ripple effect on those I pass, as I smile, to make others smile, say hello, nod a head, rippling out positive behaviours to others in the room.

These 2 scenarios can happen to you every day, how do we stop to recognise the triggers that impact our behaviour? How can we bring this from our subconscious mind to our conscious mind? Is it about habits, some may say yes. I want to say it is being self-aware of the impact that others have on you and in turn the impact YOU have on others. Look in the mirror and think about how you act, your behaviours and how they impact others. Are you self-aware?

As human beings our behaviours are made of multiple levels, think of it like an onion and each layer adds another dimension to who we are. Our life experiences, our values, limiting beliefs, hereditary, emotional intelligence, role models, family, friends, etc, etc. It could just be one of these layers that sets the trigger to impact our changing behaviours and when we can discover what layer this is, we can bring it to the conscious mind and work on it, so you, in turn, can ensure you are always on good behaviour, giving a good behaviour ripple effect on those around you.

Tell me about your triggers, are you aware of them?

It starts with YOU! Let’s create a world where the ripples we pass on are positive.