It Starts With YOU

Understanding yourself is the first step towards understanding others.

Human beings are social creatures who interact with each other on a daily basis, however, depending on our natural preferences, we will interact differently.

In the majority of cases, our behaviour towards others is influenced by how we perceive ourselves. Therefore, gaining a deeper understanding of our own behaviour can be fundamental in achieving better relationships with others. So why it is necessary to understand our own behaviour before seeking to understand others?

Let’s take the ‘Rob May’s’ question “what is it like to be on the receiving end of you?” (Came from the FOCUS on WHY podcast with Amy Rowlinson)

Firstly, there is no right or wrong style, it’s about recognising, understanding and respecting our differences.

Our natural behavioural style is how we “wake up” before any other influence of the day has had its impact. Let’s start by simply identifying whether we have an extroverted or introverted style, yes there is ambivert and others, however, I want to keep this simple. If you are extroverted you may find introverted people quiet or slower paced and therefore interacting with them may cause your unconscious bias to get frustrated and try to hurry them up. If you are introverted, you may find extroverted people loud and fast-paced and therefore you may find interacting with them, a little tiresome.

If we simply identify any introverted/extroverted biases this may influence our interactions with others. Being aware of such tendencies can help you to control your emotions and respond appropriately to different situations. When we have emotional intelligence, this can lead to increased empathy towards others, and the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. By understanding our own behaviour, we gain insight into the motivations and emotions that drive our actions. This understanding can help us to relate to others better and appreciate the factors that influence their behaviour. For instance, if someone tends to be anxious in certain situations, they may be more likely to understand and empathise with someone who is also anxious in similar circumstances.

Once we can start to identify our own natural behaviours, this can lead to better self-control. Understanding what it is like to be on the receiving end of you. If you are communicating with someone who is a very similar style to yourself, the conversation flows, rapport is built quicker and a relationship is formed, however, the world is made up of many different styles, if you are communicating with someone who has a polar opposite style to you, you need to be self-aware and ask yourself, do I need to slow down, do I need to speed up, am I load or quiet, does their body language tell me I have stepped into their space? An much more.

Our behaviours are made up of many different layers, the base for understanding YOU is your personality, and then you can start to build all the layers on top, core values boundaries, culture and more.

I knew that before I stepped into becoming the ‘Queen of Behaviours’ being on the receiving end of me must have been exhausting.

What is it like to be on the receiving end of YOU?

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